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The story begins with a regular Joe who tries desperately to seek employment, but embarks on a violent rampage when he teams up with cult leader Uncle Dave. Their first act is to heist an amusement park, only to learn that the Taliban are planning the same heist as well. Chaos ensues, and now the Postal Dude must not only take on terrorists but political figures as well.

In 1999, in Claremont, California, the violent Jake Mazursky owes US$ 1,200.00 to the coward drug dealer Johnny Truelove, who is son of the powerful criminal Sonny Truelove. They fight and start a personal war, with Jake breaking into the house of Johnny with his friends, stealing the TV and leaving excrement in the living room. Johnny kidnaps Jake’s fifteen year old brother Zach Mazurka, who has just had an argument with his parents, and brings him to the upper class house of his friend Frankie Ballenbacher. Along a couple of days, Zach meets the friends of Frankie, goes to parties, drinks boozes, smokes pot and has sex with other teenagers. When Johnny realizes that kidnapping means life sentence, he asks the servile scum Elvis Schmidt to kill the boy.

Howdy Ho! Mr. Hankey, everybody’s favorite piece of poo, is here to show us his line up of holly jolly Christmas songs! There’s S.D. Kluger singing the Mr. Hankey theme, then we’ve got Mr. Mackey singing Carol of the Bells, Eric Cartman singing “O Holy Night”, Jesus Christ and Santa Claus singing a medley of Christmas jingles, and even Mr. Garrison wishes all the religions of the world a Merry fucking Christmas! It really is a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Krazy Kwanza, and all the rest!

Anna Faris returns as the caring yet dumb witted Cindy Campbell in the latest installment of the Scary Movie Franchise. Cindy has taken up a job as a house caretaker for a nice old lady that is said to be cursed. Cindy moves right in and the house is located right next to Craig Bierko as Tom Ryan, a down on his luck father. Cindy soon discovers a dreaded secret about the house and she is comforted by Tom who is watching his children for the weekend. As soon as the two become more then just friends, a huge storm rolls on in and hits the town. Tom discovers a giant hole in the ground and an alien TrIpod emerges from it’s depth’s. Meanwhile, Cindy finds the soul of a tortured boy living inside the house who tells her he knows the secret on how to defeat the aliens. But before he gives it too her, he vanishes. The only way to figure out the mystery is to find the boy’s father. Cindy and Tom split away from each other and Tom, with his children, seek refuge in a torn up basement owned by shotgun wielding man named Oliver. Cindy, while trying to figure out her own mystery, bumps into her old friend Brenda Meeks. Teogether, they decide to defeat the aliens. Brenda then discovers a hidden village outside of town and Cindy figure’s out the boys father is somewhere inside. Now it’s up to Cindy and Brenda to find the boys father and unfold the mystery on how to defeat the aliens, who in fact have their own plans on how to torture such people like Shaq and Dr. Phil.

Mollie is a single mum who’s on the lookout for a reliable and normal boyfriend. Her son Mikey, (unbeknownst to her) seems to have a better idea of which of the men she dates would make a good father figure! If only she could understand him…

Cooper and Ed are brothers: Coop acts, in ads and soaps, spending his real energy chasing women for one-night stands. His younger brother Ed, an earnest young man, works in an ad agency. For the past year, since finding his girlfriend in bed with another man with a video camera running, Ed has been in a funk: he’s carried a torch, his social life has tanked, and his work has suffered. Ed will be fired on Monday unless he can save a major account. It’s his birthday weekend: he wants to work, but Cooper wants Ed to rediscover his sex life. Cooper works hard to help Ed score, but disaster piles on disaster. Can a decent guy save his job and get a life?

Cool and deadly NYPD detective John Shaft arrests Walter Wade, Jr. in a racially-motivated slaying. The eye witness disappears, Wade jumps bail for Switzerland, and Shaft is livid. Two years later, Wade returns to face trial, confident his father’s money and influence (and racial politics) guarantee an innocent verdict. Shaft looks hard for the witness, so Wade wants someone to kill her. He turns to a ghetto drug king, Peoples Hernandez, who’s willing to kill for money, use Wade as a route to rich drug customers, and shaft Shaft. Can Shaft find the witness, convince her to testify, and shepherd her through the hail of bullets that Peoples is sure to let fly?

A wild, freeform, Rabelaisian trip through the darkest recesses of Edinburgh low-life, focusing on Mark Renton and his attempt to give up his heroin habit, and how the latter affects his relationship with family and friends: Sean Connery wannabe Sick Boy, dimbulb Spud, psycho Begbie, 14-year-old girlfriend Diane, and clean-cut athlete Tommy, who’s never touched drugs but can’t help being curious about them…

An out-of-control speed freak (Schwartzman) is introduced his drug of choice’s creator (Rourke) by his dealer (Leguizamo). A massive three-day adventure ensues (with Fugit, Murphy, and Suvari in tow).

Lt. John Dunbar is dubbed a hero after he accidentally leads Union troops to a victory during the Civil War. He requests a position on the western frontier, but finds it deserted. He soon finds out he is not alone, but meets a wolf he dubs “Two-socks” and a curious Indian tribe. Dunbar quickly makes friends with the tribe, and discovers a white woman who was raised by the Indians. He gradually earns the respect of these native people, and sheds his white-man’s ways.