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Darren Giles has lost his college scholarship, can’t work up the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams and doesn’t have the cash to stay in college another semester. Unless he can survive the teenage dominatrix, New York’s largest drug mogul, convince his parents he’s not gay, write a paper on Dante’s Inferno, escape three thugs chasing the wrong guy and sell fifty pills of ecstasy in time to make his tuition payment, he’ll never get the chance to date the girl of his dreams.

This movie is a remake of the hit series which starred, Phil Silvers as Sgt. Bilko. In this movie, Bilko is played by Steve Martin. Bilko tuns the motor pool and has all sorts of scams going on like gambling, renting out military vehicles, and so on, which are all violations. However, his commanding officer, Colonel Hall overlooks them, cause he is more concerned about his future, cause a lot of bases are being closed, and the inspector, Major Thorn was on the verge of doing that. But when he heard that Bilko was on the base, he turned into a mad dog. It seems that Thorn was a “thorn” in Bilko’s side many years ago but through a series of misunderstandings, Thorn was accused of carrying out or being the brains behind one of Bilko’s schemes, he would be sent to Greenland and his career has not gone as he hoped it would and now wants revenge on Bilko.