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Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of undeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of undeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat’s a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat’s neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality.

Kevin McAllister, 8 years old is accidentally left behind while his family rushes to the Airport to go to France for their Christmas vacation. Kevin learns that he made his family is gone. He spends his first day having fun in his house. Kevin learns that Mav and Harry (The Wet Bandits), two crooks are trying to rob his house. Kevin fends for himself and protects his house from the thieves, by setting traps everywhere. Meanwhile, Kevin’s mother discovers that they left Kevin in Chicago and tries to go back to Chicago while the other members of the family stay in Fance.

Billy Madison is a non-working, non-educated slacker who lives entirely off his dad. He spends his day drinking beer, reading girly magazines, and hanging out by the pool. When his father realizes that Billy is unfit to run the family business, Billy decides that he must go back to school and earn a real education. He figures it will be no problem going back to high school and learning over again, until he learns that his father bought Billy’s passing grades all the way back in elementary school. Thus, Billy must return to elementary school and pass each grade one at a time in a short time, or else he loses his place as heir to the company. In addition, Billy tries to win the hand of Veronica, a sexy school teacher who thinks her students are more mature than Billy.

All that Neal Page wants to do is to get home for Thanksgiving. His flight has been cancelled due to bad weather, so he decides on other means of transport. As well as bad luck, Neal is blessed with the presence of Del Griffith, Shower Curtain Ring Salesman and all-around blabbermouth, who is never short of advice, conversation, bad jokes, or company. And when he decides that he is going the same direction as Neal….