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Six New Yorkers have an interrelated series of relationships. TV producer Tommy, who’s just broken up with his girlfriend, has a short relationship with commitment-phobe Maria, who he meets in a video store, and also hooks up with married real-estate agent Annie, who he meets while apartment hunting. Annie is open to a relationship because her husband, Griffin, is cheating on her, which she slowly comes to realize through talking to her friend/co-worker who’s gone through the same thing. Griffin, a 39-year-old dentist, is cheating with 19-year-old waitress Ashley, who he picked up in a park; she realizes she can do better when Ben, a hotel doorman and aspiring musician, tries to pick her up, in a belated attempt to recover from his divorce a year ago from schoolteacher Maria (the same Maria from the video store). Most of these relationships seem driven more by a desperate need to be in a relationship than actual love.

Shy, chain-smoking, insomniac Peter McGowan is an L.A. playwright with a string of hits that preceded his current ten years of failed productions. His mother-in-law is sinking into senility, a stranger is meandering the neighborhood claiming to be him, neighbors have a new dog that barks all night; his wife wants to have a child, and he does not: he’s become impotent. He’s working on a new play when a single mom moves in next door with her 8-year-old daughter. His wife immediately invites the girl into the McGowan household. Will this child stir Peter’s paternal feelings? Will she also help him get his dialogue right? And what of his doppelganger and the neighbor’s dog?

Jerry Welbach is given two ultimatums. His mob boss wants him to travel to Mexico to get a priceless antique pistol called “The Mexican” or he will suffer the consequences. The other ultimatum comes from his girlfriend Samantha, who wants him to end his association with the mob. Jerry figures that being alive, although in trouble with his girlfriend is the better alternative so he heads south of the border. Finding the pistol is easy but getting it home is a whole other matter. The pistol supposedly carries a curse - a curse Jerry is given every reason to believe, especially when Samantha is held hostage by the gay hit man Leroy to ensure the safe return of the pistol.

The crew of the Serenity is getting desperate. They have lain lower and lower to protect their doctor, Simon Tam (Sean Maher), and his telepathic traumatized little sister, River (Summer Glau), from the alliance, whom he rescued her from a year earlier. This has made getting jobs harder and now they are desperate. When they take River on a robbery during which Reavers (humans who have gone crazy and turned into cannibals) attack, Simon decides that its time to leave the crew of the Serenity for his and River’s safety. She then mutters “Miranda” and goes berserk and nearly shoots Capt. Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion), until her brother says the safety word to put her to sleep. Reynolds decides to take them back on board for safety, only now an alliance operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is on their tracks and making Reynolds determined to find out what “Miranda” is and what the Alliance is hiding.

Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) has been Santa Claus for the past eight years, and his loyal elves consider him the best Santa ever. But Santa’s got problems (he’s even mysteriously losing weight) and things quickly go south when he finds out that his son, Charlie, has landed on this year’s “naughty” list. Desperate to help his son, Scott heads back home, leaving a substitute Claus to watch over things at the Pole. But when the substitute institutes some strange redefinitions of naughty and nice, putting Christmas at risk, it’s up to Scott to return with a new bag of magic to try to save Christmas.