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When best friends Bill S. Preston and Ted “Theodore” Logan are in danger of being seperated and having their band, Wyld Stalyns broken up because they’re failing history, a time traveler from the future gives them a telephone booth so they can travel through time and ace their history report.

Two totally incompetent applicants, Emmett Fitzhume and Austin Millbarge, are chosen from a CIA recruitment program. They are parachuted into Pakistan and eventually end up in Afghanistan, chased by the Russians, where they learn they are being used as decoys to draw out the Sovet defenses. Two real spies are sent in. Their mission is to Hijack a soviet Missile launcher, launch the Soviet missile and test the new US orbital defence laser. The missile is fired and while heading for an American City, the laser system misses it’s target. The contingency plan for this scenario, as set out by the Pentagon Nuts who planned it from deep within a secret underground bunker, is to let the 3rd World War happen anyway.

For the past four years, San Francisco cop Jack Cates has been after an unidentified drug kingpin who calls himself the “Ice Man”. At the Hunter’s Point Raceway, Jack confronts Tyrone Burroughs and Arthur Brock. Jack kills Brock in self defense, but Burroughs escapes, and Jack is in danger of going to prison because Brock’s gun can’t be found. Jack finds a picture that proves that the Ice Man has put a price on the head of Reggie Hammond, who is scheduled to be released from prison on the next day. Jack tries to convince Reggie to help him clear his name and find the Ice Man, but Reggie says he won’t help unless Jack gives Reggie the $500,000 that Jack has been holding on to for Reggie. Jack refuses to give Reggie the money unless Reggie helps him. After the bus that is transporting Reggie away from the prison is forced to crash by two bikers and Jack gets shot by the same two bikers, Jack forces Reggie to help him by having the hospital release Reggie into his custody. Reggie recognized one of the bikers as Richard “Cherry” Ganz, the brother of Albert Ganz, the escaped convict Jack killed years ago. Jack got shot because Cherry wants revenge for Albert’s death, and Cherry and his partner Willie Hickok are the hitmen who have been hired to kill Reggie. Burroughs, who works for the Ice Man, was trying to hire Brock as insurance, just in case Cherry and Hickok fail. Blake Wilson, the head of the Internal Affairs division, obviously doesn’t like Jack, because Wilson will stop at nothing to prosecute Jack for manslaughter in Brock’s death, and it turns out that the Ice Man put a price on Reggie’s head because Reggie knows who the Ice Man is someone Jack never expected it to be.

The battleship Missouri is about to be decomissioned. Casey Ryback is Captain Adam’s personal cook. And Ryback is always butting heads with the ship’s XO Commander Krill but the Captain always intercedes. One day, after the President visits the Missouri, which is also the Captain’s birthday, the Captain learns that a helicopter has been cleared to land on the ship by Commander Krill, which he was not informed of. When questioned Krill tells the Captain that it’s a surprise for his birthday, the Captain then allows it. Later after another one of their scuffles, Krill has Ryback locked in the freezer. During the party, the rock band reveals themselves to be mercenaries, led by William Stranix, a CIA operative, who is in league with Krill to unload all of the ship’s nuclear warheads. They lock up all of the crew and make preparations to remove the warheads. And Krill remembers Ryback, Stranix sends two of his men to take care of Ryback, only thing is that Ryback took care of them. Upon discovering their bodies, Stranix deduces that Ryback is more than a cook. He then sends Krill to check on him, and Krill discovers that Ryback’s a NAVY SEAL, who got busted down to a cook after an incident in Panama. And Ryback continues to create trouble for them, so Stranix tries to hunt him down. Along the way, Ryback meets Jordan, a former playmate, who was supposed to entertain at the party but was also forgotten.