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This is a remake of Cyrano de Bergerac, one of the most celebrated plays of the French theater, written by Edmond Rostand. Instead of being set in 17th century France, “Cyrano” has been changed to “Charlie”, a fire chief in a small town in Washington. Roxanne, played by the beautiful Darryl Hanna, rents a house for the summer to look at comets and Charlie quickly falls for her. Charlie is intelligent, funny, and sensitive, but all his fine qualities are unfortunately overshadowed by his very large nose (”Excuse me, it that your nose or did a bus park on your face?”). Charlie’s friend, Chris, on the other hand, is quite attractive, but superficial and awkward with words, especially around women (he has a tendency to throw up a lot). Both men are enthralled with Roxanne, but she, in a shallow but predictable move, shows interest in the handsome Chris. Chris is tongue-tied around her — everything that comes out of his mouth is either vulgar or indecipherable. So he asks Charlie for help. Charlie, inspired, writes 3 love letters a day to Roxanne, unbeknownst to Chris. Charlie’s eloquent letters work, because Roxanne falls in love with Chris. But Chris can’t meet Roxanne’s expectations in person and he soon runs off with a waitress who is “pretty cute, too”.

The criminals Rock Keats (Damon Wayans) and Archie Moses (Adam Sandler) are best friends and have been stealing cars together for one year. Archie invites Rock to join the gang of the drug lord Frank Colton (James Caan) without knowing that Rock is indeed the undercover detective Jack Carter, assigned to get evidences against Frank. During the police raid against a heroin shipping of Frank, Archie accidentally shoots Jack in his head. Once recovered, Jack declares Archie his enemy, and arrests him. But the former mates have to join forces against Frank’s gangsters and many dirty cops.

Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne is a killin’ machine, but the wars of the world are no longer fought on the battlefield. A career Marine, he has no idea what to do as a civilian, so his commander finds him a job - commanding officer of a local school’s JROTC program, a bunch or ragtag losers with no hope. Using such teaching tools as live grenades and real bullets, Payne starts to instill the corp with some hope. But when Payne is recalled to fight in Bosnia, will he leave the corp who has just started the believe in him, or will he find out that killin’ ain’t much of a livin’?

A down and out cynical detective teams up with a down and out ex-quarterback to try and solve a murder case involving a pro football team and a politician.