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As the film opens on an Oklahoma farm during the depression, two simultaneous visitors literally hit the Wagoneer home: a ruinous dust storm and a convertible crazily driven by Red, the missus’ brother. A roguish country-western musician, he has just been invited to audition for the Grand Ole Opry, his chance of a lifetime to become a success. However, this is way back in Nashville, Red clearly drives terribly, and he’s broke and sick with tuberculosis to boot. Whit, 14, seeing his own chance of a lifetime to avoid “growing up to be a cotton picker all my life,” begs Ma to let him go with Uncle Red as driver and protege. Thus begins a picaresque journey both hilarious and poignant.

When Mona’s key won’t fit in her Yugo, she tries it in her son’s; when it works, she borrows his car. The brakes fail; she goes through the guard rail, into the river, and drowns. When police chief Rash learns that the brake lines were cut, he looks for a murderer. Suspect one: Mona’s dim son Jeff, whom she constantly denigrated. Suspect two: her husband Phil, whom she constantly belittled and who’s having an affair with Rona, a waitress with a secret of her own. Suspect three: Jeff’s landscape partner Bobby, who wants Jeff out, has yelled at Mona that he’d like to rip out her ovaries, and who is soon to be Rash’s son-in-law. Can Rash find the killer and keep Bobby out of jail?

The movie begins with the aging Brushy Bill Roberts narrating his story to a young historian. His claim? He claims that he is the famous outlaw William H. Bonney, alias Billy the Kid, who was supposedly shot and killed by Patrick Floyd Garrett in 1881. The old man gives a very convincing story on how he and Garrett, along with Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh, Chavez y Chavez, Doc Skurlock, and a few others led the outlaw life and avoided the law, as they were wanted men. Garrett, a friend of Billy’s, was paid by John Chisum, a cattle king, to eliminate Billy the Kid. So, Garrett and Ashmun Upson set out on a journey to find Billy the Kid.

Princess Jehnna has been captured by a sorcerer, so the evil queen Taramis (who wants to sacrifice Jehnna and take the throne for ever) asks from Conan to find her and bring her back to the castle. Conan accepts, because Taramis has magical powers and thus she is the only person who can bring his dead love back in life.

A prototype enhanced human, on the run from Chinese-hired hit men, hooks up with a dread-locked bystander, and the two of them elude their pursuers narrowly each time.