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A young boy, recently orphaned, is taken to England by his grandmother. At a hotel in which they are staying, a group of witches have gathered to prepare a plot to rid the world of all children.

Mr. Bean enters a church raffle and wins a vacation trip to France as well as a camcorder. After boarding a Eurostar train and arriving in Paris, the French language proves a barrier for Bean, as he struggles to get across the city to catch a train to the south of France from the Gare de Lyon. Taking time to order a meal, he finds the consumption of a seafood platter to be a challenge. Just before catching his train, he asks Emil, a Russian film director on his way to be a judge at the Cannes Film festival to use his camcorder to record his boarding, but accidentally causes Emil being left behind at the station. Bean attempts to cheer up the director’s son Stepan as the train continues south but matters are made more hectic by the fact that Emil has reported his son to have been kidnapped and Bean losing his wallet and essential travel documents at a pay phone where he and Stepan attempt to contact Emil. Heading in the direction of Cannes, Bean finds himself in the cast and disrupting the flow of a commercial being shot by the egotistical director Carson Clay. He and Stepan finally hitch a ride with the young and vivacious actress Sabine who is heading to Cannes to attend the premiere of Clay’s film, in which she appears. After Bean sneaks into the showing, his camcorder images are destined to enliven the proceedings.

Topper Harley is found to be working as an odd-job-man in a monastery. The CIA want him to lead a rescue mission into Iraq, to rescue the last rescue team, who went in to rescue the last rescue team who… who went in to rescue hostages left behind after Desert Storm. The president is Tug Benson, who also likes to be in on the action. Basically, it’s a send-up of all the big shoot-em-up Rambo/Robocop/T2/ Commando type movies.

A group of billionaires led by a Las Vegas casino owner (John Cleese) search for things to bet on. They decide to pull a group of six strangers together to race from Vegas to Silver City, New Mexico to retrieve $2 million hidden in a locker. First one there gets all of the money. The first team are two addled brothers (Seth Green and Vince Vieluf, who talks indecipherably because of a newly pierced tongue). When they cannot catch a plane, they plot to destroy an airport control tower in a very funny sequence. Their antics carry them into a hot air balloon chase that catches a cow with a dangling rope and into a monster truck competition. The second team is an estranged mother (Whoopi Goldberg) reunited with her daughter (Lanai Chapman), who is struggling to start a business. They face an insane squirrel-selling woman (Kathy Bates) and steal a rocket car scheduled for a land speed record attempt. A hated NFL referee (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) is stranded in the desert by an irate cabbie (Paul Rodriguez) and hijacks a busload of Lucille Ball look-alikes on the way to a convention. The Jewish family man (Jon Lovitz) on a family vacation joins the race without telling his wife (Kathy Najimy) why they are rushing across the country. When his daughter insists on stopping at a Barbie museum, it is without realization that it is the Klaus Barbie Nazi Museum. The escape from that location involves the theft of Hitler’s personal touring car and culminates with Lovitz having his tongue burned and accidentally crashing into a WWII Veteran’s convention. A narcoleptic Italian (Rowan Atkinson in his best Mr. Bean-like manner) gets a ride with an ambulance driver (Wayne Knight), who is carting a human heart for a transplant. Through various ineptitude, the heart ends up flying out of the truck’s window and the two have to recover it from a playful dog. The final race member (Breckin Meyer) is a straight-laced future lawyer who at first declines to participate in the race, but re-thinks his position after he meets a smart, beautiful woman (Amy Smart) who is flying a helicopter to New Mexico. He quickly finds out that she is unbalanced after she flies over her boy friend’s house and starts an attack on the boy friend when she sees him in the pool with an ex-girl friend. An air pursuit results in the crash of the helicopter. Dave Thomas also appears as Cleese’s humorless attorney.

Rowan plays the eponymous lead character in a spoof spy thriller. During the course of the story we follow our hero as he attempts to single-handedly save the country from falling into the hands of a despot.