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In the millenium version of this classic Gothic horror we find Abraham Van Helsing (Plummer), who has tangled with Count Dracula (Butler) in the past, working as an English antiques dealer. Simon (Miller) is a vampire hunter in training under his apprenticeship. Van Helsing and Simon travel from London to New Orleans to rescue Van Helsing’s daughter Mary (Waddell) from the family’s life long nemesis - Dracula.

Barbara Novak has just come down from Maine to New York after writing a book called Down With Love. The book instructs women to have sex the way a man does, and to detach oneself from love completely. Catcher Block is a successful journalist tapped to write a cover story on Novak. He blows her off at every opportunity to cuddle with flight attendants. However, when Novak’s book is a complete success, Catcher finds himself being blown off by her! So he starts to write an expose and disguises himself as a naive astronaut named Zip Martin. But he can’t imagine what happens next!